{ 8 Months.......}

     I can remember the day perfectly, the EMOTIONS and FEELINGS....I can see the room with perfect clarity, smell the familiar smells and hear the people around me busily attending to their duties.....The day was September 1, 2011. Although not that long ago, it now seems like it's been forever and that the changes brought upon us are just part of what life for our family is really like. That is the day that CANCER came home.  I had great intentions to keep this blog up as a journal for our family to remember this time, to learn from it and to record for our posterity....Obviously,  you can see that I failed miserably at that. I guess I figured that there were things I didn't want others to know or that I didn't want to face and seeing them actually posted or written somewhere would make this whole experience real........because for awhile it seemed like it was just a bad dream.  That one day I would wake up and our lives would be normal again.... or at least I hoped it would.  But now I am ready. I am ready to face this, because it is what it is and I can't change it, nor would I if I could.
     Not too long ago, Kyler and I were watching a movie near bedtime.  He chose UP. 

I don't care too much for that movie, I thought at the time that it was rather boring...... but, as I watched this time I gathered new perspective on the movie...I'm sure most of you have seen it, but here's a brief rundown.  Boy meets girl and falls in love, they get married and have a plan and dreams for their life together, they plan to travel the world and have a life full of adventure.  However, life happens and the plan changes to meet everyday life and the needs that they now have.  In the end his sweetheart, Elle, dies never fulfilling their dream to visit Paradise Falls, and adventure of a lifetime. Carl tries from that day on to find a way to take their house to Paradise Falls to fulfill her one final dream.

 However, along the way he finally realizes that all along they had each other and that was all that mattered, it was the most important adventure of all, and that their obstacles were just a part of life. This is exactly how I feel.....we never expect or plan for obstacles such as these to be placed in our path.  We don't plan for trials, yet they are a part of our earthly existence. I can honestly say that I finally understand.....not that I really understand why we were given this specific trial....however, the things that we have gained and learned are extremely important!

Joseph Campbell said, "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Ellie learned early in her life, that her sweet Carl and their relationship WAS the greatest adventure of her life...albeit unexpected, as it was. 

My life isn't quite the "adventure" that I once imagined it would be. However, I am so very blessed to have learned that God has a greater plan for me...better than ANY adventure I could ever have mapped out. Much of this adventure of the past year has involved heartache and pain (ALL for a Divine purpose)....... I have learned to let go of what I expected my life to be like and have completely surrendered to where GOD KNOWS Our family belings. How liberating that is....how much JOY and PEACE there is in a life led by HIS hand...and not limited by my own expectations.
Not long ago, I remember thinking that my world was falling apart. Little did I know, as this beautiful quote below so beautifully states, that God was simply putting my life together EXACTLY the way He wants it.

With just a mere TASTE of the miracles our family has seen in the past year, I am confident that GOD knows FAR BETTER THAN I DO, what is best for us. My life has not at all turned out the way I always thought it would. This is definitely not the adventure that I thought my life would be.

How grateful I am for my life....my wonderful, blessed life...so different than I ever thought it would be. I have ached more than ever thought I would.....and I have felt joy more passionate and pure than I ever thought imaginable.

Through the past year only a few things have brought me comfort and peace....I thought that I would share, just in case someone else also needed them......

1) The two quotes ( many others were great...these are just my favorite):

  No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God... and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven. 
-Orson F. Whitney

2)  Hilary Weeks music......have you heard this song? BRILLIANT!






 3. This song.....

 4. Many, Many talks and devotionals from spiritual giants.....this is my personal favorite from Aprils conference
:http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/special-lessons?lang=eng

 5. Any many, many prayers, support of others, and other special spiritual experiences that are much to personal to share!!


(As I complete this post....two weeks after I started it.....Josh is finishing his last round of Chemo.....here's to a long couple of weeks as we hope to find that the chemotherapy has worked and there is no more cancer in his body!  Then, relief for him as he regains strength, has one last operation, and can return to his normal day to day schedule!!!)

{2012 Relay For Life}

      In three weeks Josh and I will celebrate our 12th anniversary.  We will celebrate with our family and friends at the Relay for Life.....Join our team and celebrate with us or consider making a donation in our behalf....Even a $5 donation can help a cancer patient or their family!! Believe me, you may never know when cancer will effect you or your family!

2012 Relay For Life of Twin Falls ID: Video Page - Celebrate - The American Cancer Society - 2012 Relay For Life of Twin Falls ID

{Cheer Nationals 2012}

     The girls and I headed off to California for a few days for Cheer Nationals...Kamrin was out because of her broken arm, but still tagged along to support her team! We were a bit scared to leave because Josh had just finished chemotherapy and wasn't handling the side effects well.  He was insistent that we go and have a good time together and that we not worry about him.  Easier said than done, but we tried out best.  We are lucky that family and friends were able to help out with Kyler so that we could still go and Kyler was cared for.
     Our trip started off with quite an adventure! My friends car broke down in the middle of nowhere. But, because it was the middle of nowhere there was no cell service. So, I got to walk up the mountain until I could get cell service to call for help.   Everything eventually worked out and we were back on the road again......we pulled into Vegas for some rest at about 3 o'clock in the morning.

After Day 1 of competition we set out to see the sights!  We went to the Hollywood sign....

The Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood........

The stars on Hollywood Blvd.......

Of course Twilight and Harry Potter..................

Kelsie's team..........................

Sisters........................

The girls and their coach :)................................

Kamrin with her coaches..............................

The girls and I at the aquarium..........................

Petting sting rays......................

Petting star fish................................

The girls wanted to go whale watching.....so we were able to go on a tour that left from the aquarium.....Unfortunately, I get sea sick and I didn't know it. A big thanks to my friend who watched the girls while I was sick in the back of the boat alone.  I had the camera and wasn't able to capture pictures of the cool California grey whales, dolphins, and seals that we saw.  I had recovered enough to take this picture toward the end......what a ride!

{Report Cards}

Report Cards came home a couple of weeks ago....Kelsie and Kamrin both received straight A's....

And both girls have brought home spelling tests with scores over 100 for six weeks straight.......I couldn't be prouder of both of them. With our family's crazy schedule Kelsie and Kamrin have become pretty responsible with their homework and studying each week. I don't have to remind them to do it very often. They have definitely earned their scores! We celebrated with a trip to the bookstore and let the girls choose a new book!

{Happy Birthday to Kelsie!!!}

Kelsie turned ten earlier this week....

Since Dad was sick at home we took our party to Gerties to celebrate......We had a great turnout with lots of Kelsie's friends.......

My sister in law helped me whip up the cake of Kelsie's request. I didn't get a picture of the inside but it was black and white zebra striped thanks to the pinterest tutorial! We had a great evening together!! Here's 10 things about Kelsie:

1. She is so much help around the house and especially loves dishes and laundry!

2. She is a hard worker.....

3. She is a good student.

4. She is kind to others and reaches out to those at school that don't have very many friends.

5. She is silly!

6. She loves to read and loves helping out in the school library.

7. She loves clothes and putting outfits/shoes/accesories together.

8. She loves cheerleading and tumbling.

9. She loves pink and zebra anything!!

10. She is full of energy!!

{Photography}

As Kamrin and I were running errands the other day a quick rain storm hit. We saw a rainbow and pulled over to check it out and take a picture. As we looked ahead of us we saw the beautiful rainbow, but behind us were lots of clouds. It was a very cool sight, so we took some pictures.

{The Perfect Christmas}

I spent some time on Pinterest finding tutorials on taking the perfect Christmas tree picture....this is the best that I could do this year. After spending all that time thinking that I had to have the perfect picture, I thought a little deeper about Christmas. So often, we worry about having the perfect gift, the perfect tree picture, the perfect Christmas Cards, and a perfectly decorated home, and the perfect holiday shedule filled with parties and other events. I fall victim to this stereotype myself.
This year none of those things were perfect....in fact most of them never happened. We were lucky that we got a tree up, I only sent half of the Christmas cards, we made absolutely no Christmas candy or cookies, and didn't attend one Christmas party. However, this year Christmas was perfect. Our family was the recipient of so many random acts of service. Our children experienced anticipation and excitement many nights waiting for a "Secret Santa" to arrive and leave a treat or gift. They learned the true meaning of Christmas through numerous stories and videos that were shared with them. They learned how prayers can be answered as they prayed that their daddy would be released from the hospital in time to celebrate Christmas at home with them. We all learned how precious life is and how important it is to share our time here with those that we love the most. We all had a great time doing absolutely nothing besides spending time with each other.
So, this year I am glad that what seemed to be an iimperfect Christmas turned into the {Perfect Christmas}.